As we think through the wisdom found in Proverbs this summer, it’s clear that our words are important. On Sunday, Jonty took us through some ways that Proverbs warns us about using our words, showing us ways that we can go wrong when we act out of the fear of man. However, God doesn’t just care about the words that come out of our mouths. As we spend more and more time communicating online, we need to seek God’s wisdom with the words we type, share and send, not just the ones we speak face to face. 

Gossip

Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down. 26:20

Whatever we see online, whether pictures from our friends, videos reviewing games, jokes and memes, conversations about art and pop culture, or discussions about politics, we are constantly being invited to join in with gossip. The way we share information online means that the type of speculative conversation previously saved for celebrities and politicians can now be had about all people, be that an influencer with a few hundred thousand followers, or a friend of a friend that you follow on Instagram. Perhaps the longest standing piece of advice about using social media is to remember that what we see is curated, a highlight reel, and doesn’t represent a person’s whole life — if we forget this, we can give in to the temptation to gossip, to try and read into what people say online and assume things about them without considering them as they are, another of God’s image bearers.

The internet is full of gossip, and if we are not intentional about using our words wisely we can become another member of the crowd and contribute to conversations that keep the fire of rumours and accusations burning. To be healing with the words we use online we need to remember that the person behind every account is dearly loved by God. We should see the best in people, not look for the worst, and remember we ourselves are people in desperate need of God’s forgiveness. To be wise online we need to know when to stay silent, and not join in when others delight in spreading gossip.

Flatterer

A lying tongue hates those it hurts, and a flattering mouth works ruin. 26:28

In an online world driven by algorithms, we can all find ourselves in echo chambers. People online can appear assertive, confident and declarative when they speak on what they believe in, no matter if the subject is as benign as household cleaning products, or as impactful as ethical values. When we are put into these spaces where it seems like everyone agrees, we can be tempted to flatter, to ensure we are in the in crowd, to appear the most upstanding to this specific group. When we try to fit in and be liked in this way, we are driven by the fear of man. We lose our integrity and thoughtfulness by being led by other people’s opinions on what is good and right. We are searching for social capital and inclusion rather than fearing God.

When we feel tempted to flatter or try to win people’s approval, we must seek God’s wisdom to weigh what we see online against the truth in his word. Our words work ruin when we tell people what they want to hear rather than turning to God to seek truth.

Crusher

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. 15:1

If you scroll through a YouTube comment section, the harshest comments often come from accounts with generic, indecipherable usernames and no profile pictures. The internet provides us an ability that we do not have in real life conversations: anonymity. Now while I hope it’s unlikely that any of us are logging on to post hate comments behind fake usernames, the online landscape changes the way we feel about our words because we are not subjected to their immediate consequences. It’s much easier for us to be needlessly harsh over written messages and comments, to display frustration or disagreement angrily, because we won’t have to deal with how our words are received. This is especially true when we’re talking to people we might not see day-to-day, or even people that we don’t know at all.

When Jesus speaks he is gentle and considered no matter who he is talking to, and even when he disagrees. While it may feel like using harsh words in the moment will help us win an argument or prove our passion, they will only stir up anger. God knows our words and he knows our hearts — he sees the way we speak with the people around us and the words we use online. We need to use our words online to reflect how Jesus spoke, gently, even (and maybe especially) when it might feel easy to hide behind a username or email address.

Reckless

The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. 12:18

Our online world means that everything is happening right now, all the time. With this information onslaught every time we open our phones, we want to join in. We want to look impressive, want to be the first ones to have the best thing to say. In a quick acting culture, it is not made easy for us to be people who pray and mediate before we speak, but this is how God shows us to behave through his word. Recklessness online leads us to unresearched, half-formed opinions and furthers the spread of misinformation, whether that be on a larger scale or in a quick message to a friend. This is especially important to consider when we think about sharing God’s word online.

Our world can equate foolishness with not being up to date on everything, but the wise, healing tongue is slow to speak. God acts in perfect timing, never recklessly, so to respond like him we should take our time, pray that we would seek wisdom as we speak, and not rattle out quick responses so that we might sound impressive.

These are just some reflections on how we use our words online, how might God be calling you to speak, write or type healing words today?