Growing up, we didn’t talk about God in my family, and I didn’t give it much thought. But at 16, I started questioning my life and identity. I wanted to be successful and powerful. Harvey Specter from the show Suits was my ideal – I thought he’d made it.    

University was a top priority for me, especially during A-Levels, as I saw it as my ticket out. I focused on academics and explored topics like religion and philosophy, which led me to the book Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis. This book challenged me deeply, and I would go on walks reflecting on his arguments for God’s existence. It brought me to a point where I began to consider that God might be real.  

I was terrified at the thought that if God was real, I had barely considered Him. I realised I’d been living selfishly, focused only on my own idea of what was best. I was afraid of what that meant – what did God think of me? 

Around that time, I had a Christian friend who was kind and selfless. As I was exploring my thoughts about God, I asked to join her at church. She and her family welcomed me, and the church showed real love and kindness. It showed me there was something different about Christians. They weren’t impressive in the ways I once valued, but they had peace, kindness, and joy – things I lacked, and wanted.  

At university, I continued seeking God and attended a church. The student leaders there made a strong impression on me. From the moment we met, I felt their genuine love and kindness towards me, even though I was just another student. They supported and encouraged me on my journey. Once again, I sensed something different about them.  

I kept attending church and learning that the Bible is all about Jesus. But halfway through my first year, I left university. It was a low point for me, but I believed God had the answer. I was watching an old Billy Graham Crusade when it finally clicked: despite my fear and sin, God hadn’t abandoned me. Jesus deals with sin through His death on the cross, He’d come to save us and bring us back to God. That’s love. Love which calls for a response.  

Psalm 116:1-2: I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live. 

1 John 4:19: We love because he first loved us.